Sestina for Maddie

I remember what you looked like when I found you. Trapped in a cage,
alone, and afraid. Your hair was wild and matted, but your eyes,
your big beautiful eyes were so gentle, loving, and kind. I had to hold you.
So I opened the wire mesh door, lifted you up,
and held you in my arms. You were so scared. Your whole body trembled with fear.
So we went outside. I set you down, and we began to walk.

We went mostly in circles, because there wasn’t much room to walk
in the little courtyard of the SPCA. That yard felt like a cage
to me. But we kept walking anyway. And every now and again the fear
faded as you walked a bit closer to me, watching me with your big brown eyes.
After walking in circles, I sat down on the bench. And you jumped up
and sat there on the bench too. You looked at me, and I looked at you.

And we talked for a while about what I was thinking. How I wanted to take you
home. So we could spend time, play games, have fun, and go for a real walk
together. I told you that I wanted to come back tomorrow to pick you up
and bring you home. Give you a new life – one outside of this tiny terrible cage
that was slowly draining the light from your eyes.
You deserved a life of freedom, love, and to live without fear.

When I saw you next, my heart twinged with a bit of fear,
as I drove you home for the first time. I had no idea what to do with you, and you
didn’t know what to make of me either. Trepidation and distrust were in your eyes
for weeks. Maybe months. Except for when we went for a walk
outside. And the memory of the past, the beatings, the street life, and the cage
began to fade for you. And the trust you had in me, slowly began to build up.

You began to come nearer to me, cuddle closer, and one day you let me pick you up
And although you trembled for a moment, you were no longer paralyzed by fear.
Time had rebuilt your trust and you weren’t the same as when I’d found you in that cage,
except for the fear of being apart from me. But I didn’t like to be apart from you
either. I loved talking to you and playing with you. Going for a walk
every day with you always brought light to my eyes.

Then my life changed one day, and changed yours too. The light in my eyes
grew dim as I became very sick. One day when I woke up
our reality was different. Long walks were hard for me when I could barely walk
at all. The future was uncertain and my life was ruled by fear
and near hopelessness. I would have been all alone if it hadn’t been for you
sitting there next to me every day in the apartment that became my cage.

We spent years together in that cage, but you helped me to never give up on myself.
Walks with you motivated my body to get well, and your eyes motivated my soul.
I learned so much from you – life changes, trust rebuilds, and fear fades with time.